Radiate Candor  (Part 1)                                                (go to Part 2)
--Choose to Be Wise

In the normal course of breathing and feeding, oysters leave their
shells slightly open and filter in water and food.  Should a virus or
parasite make its way in, the oyster patiently coats it with a
substance called nacre.  This coating process can take years, but
when complete, the result is a beautiful pearl.  If the world is ever to
be your oyster, you’ve got to be like an oyster: maintain an open
mind, coat the attacks of others with understanding and let your
mind become a bed filled with pearls of wisdom.

Dictionary.com defines candor as “the state or quality of being
frank, open and sincere in speech or expression.”  While often
associated with the word “honesty,” “candor” gives you a much
better attitude.  Billy Joel once poignantly sang that honesty was
hardly ever heard.  This is not to say that it can't be forced out of
someone, which is why honesty as a value seems to have lost its
luster.  Parents and teachers wring the truth out of their kids; the
media drags it out of politicians.  When we do finally get at the truth,
it comes out as something ugly and damaged.  

People who are naturally shy or reserved may have difficulty with
radiating candor.  No one is asking you to discard your shell.  Just
open it up a little.  Just as pearls could never form if the oyster’s
shell remained sealed, a person who shuts out the world loses the
chance to form beauty out of ugliness.  Creating new zones with
others requires you to remain open to the world; calls for
strength and humility to allow for nasty remarks to stand;
demands patience and the right attitude to transform them into
something of value.

There are some who choose to coat irritants, not with
understanding, but with other substances like hatred, exasperation
and contempt.  In these cases, instead of cultivating pearls you
simply harbor grudges.  Once formed, their jagged edges destroy
your inner landscapes because they haven’t been treated with any
kind of empathy.  It’s difficult to be around people filled with
grudges as you’re constantly exposed to their hurt and pain, made
to wonder what kind of beauty there used to exist.   

To possess candor is to possess a superpower.  It’s a mutant-
like ability to open yourself to the possibilities of truths other than
your own; to create beauty and worth where others only see
imperfection, and to heal yourself against any attack that comes
your way.  Candor is a rare trait to find in others, but you'll know it
when you see it--the glow of pearls shining through.       

What does wisdom enable you to do?
Lesson 5   Radiate Candor
--Choose to Be Wise