Observe Caution   (Part 1)                                           (go to Part 2)
--Grow Aware of Boundaries

They say there are four versions to every speech you write: the one
you write; the one you say; the one you wish you had said; and the
one they quote you as saying.  I like to think there are four versions
to everything we communicate as well: the things we think; the
things we say; the things we wish we had said; and the things
people remember us as saying.

We live in a day and age when being humiliated on the air
(preferably by someone British during prime time) is an adolescent
rite of passage.  When shock jocks, political commentators and
comedians cook up whatever slop they want to feed into their fan
bases.  When message boards allow us to post the basest
comments without repercussion.  Is bad communication the price
we pay for entertainment, and for technology, and for being a citizen
of the 21st century?  

Watching what we say isn't always as easy as it sounds.  Because
it forces us to slow down and compose our thoughts.  That’s
something we have trouble doing in the Information Age where
speed is a premium.  But be aware: words that run afoul are going
to have consequences.  Ask Don Imus.  Ask any politician.  Being
cautious, however, is not about holding back in your
communication; on the contrary, it's about taking a step forward in
your relationships, caring about how you want to be remembered.

Where people get into trouble is when they start over thinking what
they want to say.  This is the “calculating” that makes politicians
appear slick, rather than sincere.  Sometimes the problem is that
people just talk too much.  Interior designers know that when
designing a room, the empty space is as important as that being
imposed on with furniture and accessories.  No one wants a room
that restricts function and movement.  In the way that a well
thought out floor plan creates flow in a home, a communication
blueprint of common sense and restraint creates areas for
breathing and comfort in our relationships.

Ever since we all got on the Information Superhighway in the early
90s, it’s been full throttle ahead into Cyberspace.  It's easy to think
we've become pretty invincible.  The question is: does that
invincibility include the right to say anything?  People have borders
that need to be respected, perhaps now more than ever given that
we’re all living our lives in a high-energy particle accelerator.  
Observing caution is not about stifling free speech.  It’s about
growing aware of others and finding a sustainable pace that will
have us communicating without collision and injury.         

What do I do when someone oversteps a boundary?      
Lesson 6   Observe Caution
--Grow Aware of Boundaries